ARRGGGGGHHHHHH!

There are two reasons why our *WONDERFUL* dog, Kate, is still alive right now. The first is because I came in the door carrying Jackson after being gone for a while. The only other thing that saved her is that I didn't stay up an extra 30 minutes to mop the floors last night. I planned on doing them during naps today. Good thing for Kate because just LOOK at what that dog did while we were gone this morning (said through gritted teeth because I cannot type with clenched fists):

See the brown blobs and smears on the floor? Yes, that is what you think it is.

I do.not.like.Kate.right.now. Not even a little bit. I know you're thinking that I should relax and get over it, that it's just spilled trash, but let me tell you this. When I was sweeping up the mess, shreds of Jackson's morning diaper (read: VERY POOPY) kept getting hung on the broom, smearing the contents (read: stinky and brown!) ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR. I had to TOUCH it in order to pull it off the broom to continue sweeping. And every time I bent down to scoop up a pile of trash, I got a whiff of the nastiness mixed with old food and some other unmentionables. It was the awfullest mess you can imagine. You know the worst part of it all? I cannot even blame Jeff for leaving the door unlocked this morning so she could bully her way in because she's a sissy little dog and can't handle the rain (did I mention the mud tracked through the house?). I tried to blame him but to be honest, I opened the door this morning to put a ladybug outside (should've squished the thang) and must not have relocked the door when I closed it. So pretty much I did this to myself. Go ahead and laugh. I will later.